Katou's bad luck day
by InconvenientBody
Summary: Katou's POV. Katou walks under a ladder and all goes down hill from there. Incredibly funny in a random, stupid kind of way. Jane almost died laughing.
1. The bad luck day begins

Katou's POV. I need to stop these. I really need to stop.oh well, I'm obsessed. O.k. Read and review, or I'll cry to Rocial!!  
  
Rocial: Did someone call me?  
  
Katora: No, not yet.  
  
Rocial: Oh. All right. (Sulks off)  
  
KATOU'S BAD LUCK DAY. Chapter 1: The bad luck day begins and Setsuna steals Kira.  
  
I was walking with Kira and we saw a ladder. I, being mister me, walked under it. And some old hag above me dumped fish guts on me! And thus began my bad luck day.  
  
We continued walking. "I'm ashamed to be your friend right now!" Kira laughed as I wiped fish guts off me. "SHADAAP!" I said, plucking a fish eye out of my hair. "Grosssssssss!" I said. "Like, oh mi GOD!" One of my henchmen piped. "I, like, totally think you're CURSED!" He said and started flailing around. "Did you forget to take your ridilin?" I asked, punching him in the back of the head.  
  
But that wasn't the end of it! Oh, no! Then I tripped on a conveniently placed saltshaker, which fell over and caused me to run into a window. And all that glass HURT! We walked away, me plucking glass out of my butt. The guys started walking on the other side of the road. Only Kira stayed with me.  
  
Half way to my house we ran into Setsuna. "Hahahaha! Look at YOU!" He laughed, and Kira laughed with him. "Hey, Kira? Do wanna go get ice cream with me?" He asked, and Kira left me for him! Then I started to cry. And I HAAATTTTEEEE showing signs of weakness! So I thought, I must get.even! Yes, even! Hahahaha! No one steals Kira from ME! So I went off to seek my REVENGE!  
  
"Dun dun dun. Dundundundun DUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!" I sang a little revenge seeking song. It made me smile. And I stopped for a second. How am I going to seek my revenge? What can I do? And so I started to sing my little thinking song.  
  
"Blue's clues, bluueess cluuueeesss!" I sang. I was so in the zone, singing my little song and dancing my little dance, that I bumped into something. The door to the pet store. And I fell over laughing 'cause that rhymed. Wee, I'm a poet and I don't know it! Hahahaha! Anyways, I walked in the store and all the animals were running around. A chimp had, in a sudden moment of insanity (or too many television shows) freed the animals. And, HARK, a black cat walked in front of me. Oh, the DRAMA!  
  
I ran out of the store, screaming and crying and flailing my arms. And I ran into Setsuna and Kira. It pained me. Oh, the jabbing in my heart! The searing, jabbing PAIN! And I started to grovel at Kira's feet. "Don't leave me for that FRESHMAN! No! You can't! I neeeddddd yoooouuuuu! I'm not cool with out you!" "Dude, Setsuna bought me ice cream! What have you done for me lately? You gave me a headache. I'm divorcing you!" And they left, Setsuna laughing. And my need for vengeance became stronger. I stood up, and declared I would not rest until I had my revenge and Kira was my BFF again!! But first, I needed a shower and a nap.  
  
A/N: I still love Katou; I just wanted to make a story about him without the drama, angst and drugs. So I'm sorry Katou.  
  
Katou: I'm NOT LIKE THAT!!!!  
  
Katora: Yeah, sure. You're a drama queen if I ever saw one.  
  
Katou: (Rips off his 'Drama Queen' shirt) HA! Now I'm not!  
  
Katora: Yes you are. (Points at his 'DRAMA QUEEN' tattoo)  
  
Katou: Ummm..  
  
Katora: In the next chapter there will be guest appearances and ninjas! 


	2. Guest appearances

I read the first chapter to my friend Jane (Kittykat589) and she was drinking Mountain Dew, and choked! Then she fell off the chair! THEEEEENNNNN she LAUGHED! It was all very amusing. Katou and I had a fight on whether I should continue this, and I, being an android, won.  
  
Katou: (Tending to his wounds) You did NOT need to pull out that SWORD! I need my own Rose Bride that has a sword in her chest.  
  
Katora: Wrong anime, Katou, love.  
  
Katou: As long as you're writing this story you can't call me pet names.  
  
Katora: (Pulling out sword) You wanna fight me for the privilege?  
  
Katou: NO! But why did you dump fish guts on me in the story?  
  
Katora: So I could have an excuse to get you in the shower, DARLING! (Rubbing in the fact she owns Katou)  
  
KATOU'S BAD LUCK DAY Chapter 2: Guest appearances and Katou is attacked by ninjas  
  
After my shower and nap I turned on the T.V. Hell hath no fury like that on T.V. I turned the channel to 'REVENGE-O-RAMA' and watched for my situation. And it didn't come on. Stupid ladder! Grrr. So I got up and went to 'Vengeful Store of Vengeance' for equipment. They were closed. Awwwww. So I tried to walk back home. Then a figure dropped from the sky. Then another. Then a smaller one.  
  
"Prepare for trouble!"  
"And make it double!"  
"To protect the world from."  
"Sorry, wrong anime." I interrupted. Jesse/Musashi and James/Kojiro sulked off.  
  
I continued down the street when some kid ran into me. "Oh, sorry!" He said and ran off with some yellow rat chasing after him. "PIKA PIKA!" Oh, Pikachu. Next Team Rocket went running past. "Give us that Pikachu!" They screamed, waving mallets.  
  
I walked around aimlessly in the park for a while when the idea struck me. Of course! I would buy Kira a lot of ice cream!! I only had to remember what his favorite was. "Think!" I told myself. "Think, think, think, thinkthinkthinkthink!" And when I almost had it I was surrounded by ninjas. "Oh, this sucks." I said to myself.  
  
Then, the ninjas held out what they had been holding behind their backs. Black cats! And all the cats went running around my ankles. And the force of my woe was so strong I swooned and fainted. When I woke up, some one was kicking the cats away from me. "Hey, love!" Katora said, sending the last one flying. I sat up and thanked her. "Ah, no problem. But no more help." And she walked off. I stood up.  
  
"ROCKY ROAADDDD!!!!!" I shouted. DUH! Kira's favorite ice cream is Rocky Road. And I took off for the store, which had gone out of business. I walked back to the ladder and kicked it, reeaallllyyyyy hard!  
  
Katora walked up. "All right, I'm a sucker for a Katou in distress." She said, shrugging. Katora held out a Power Saw and I destroyed that stupid ladder. It was nothing but a pile of splinters when I was done. What happened next was amazing. Kaori (One of Katora's alter egos) rose out of the splinters. She was all glowy and sparkly.  
  
"Katou," She said. "If this were the actual ladder that caused so much grief, you would be rid of your curse. But, as it is, you are an idiot and destroyed the wrong ladder. So, look for the right one and end the reader's misery." Katora popped up. "Are you insulting my man?" She asked, cracking her knuckles. "Yes, in this story, he is. In deed." And Katora lunged on Kaori. I started to whine, and they stopped fighting. "See! Now look!" Katora shouted and walked off. Kaori disappeared.  
  
An idea came to me. Just find the ladder that cursed me and destroy it. Then the store will open, and I'll be able to buy Kira his Rocky Road ice cream. But, I need to find that ladder. And I had taken out my location chip to make room for the tuna! (Invader Zim)  
  
A/N: O.k. Read and review. Or else.  
  
Katora: (Screaming) ROOCCIIIIIAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!  
  
Rocial: Is someone calling my name?  
  
Katora: I did, but I just needed to prove something. Here, have a pretty hand held mirror.  
  
Rocial: YAAAYYY!!!!!! 


	3. Where is that bloody ladder?

In one night I managed to type two chapters to this story, two chapters to NEVILLE DOO, and I'm still going! Hah! Beat this roll Jane! Not to mention, earlier today a typed chapter 3 to Disgruntled School. And yesterday I typed Bruises on Her Ego and chapter 4 of CONGRATULATIONS AND DRUGS. I'm on a roll!  
  
Katou holds up a victory flag.  
  
KATOU'S BAD LUCK DAY Chapter 3: Where is that bloody ladder and why is Katou at the karaoke bar?  
  
I wandered around, looking for that ladder. I mauled over fifty all ready, and still couldn't find the one that had given me bad luck. I went into a dark building looking for some food and heard bad singing. ACK! A karaoke bar! Oh, well. And I sat down at a table. Before I knew it I was up on stage singing my heart out.  
  
"You don't know me!  
Don't ignore me!  
You don't want me there,  
You just shut me ouuuutttt!"  
  
(Sorry Jane, I know you hate Avril, but the thought of Katou singing Avril was too much!) I sang my heart out and finished my soda. Then I went outside to find the ladder. For the next hour I hacked at every ladder I saw. And finally, FINALLY, Kaori popped out of the splinters.  
  
"Well, you managed to destroy every ladder in the city. You got the dang ladder." And she disappeared. "What? No explosions?! No music?! No wind?! NOTHING??" I shrieked. "UGH. That's so boring." I said to myself. I walked down the street, feeling majorly jipped.  
  
I walked to the store and took out a hundred that I had found and bought all the Rocky Road ice cream and went running to find Kira. But when I got to his house, there was nothing but a note.  
  
'I'M GONE. SO THHPPPPTTTT. SETSUNA AND I WENT TO THE MOVIES.'  
  
I was crushed. So I stuck all the ice cream in his freezer and went to the movie theaters.  
  
A/N: Yep, it's short. Oh well. I'm leaving the final chapter for tomorrow. I need to take a shower.and sleep. Sleep.  
  
(Katora passes out on Katou's lap.) 


	4. Katou wins Kira, and Team Rocket wins a ...

Even though I have ZIP reviews for this story, I like it so I'm finishing it.  
  
(Katou groans)  
  
Katora: Is something the matter, darling?  
  
Katou: (Still groaning) I don't want you to continue.  
  
Katora: (Patting Katou on head) Poor baby. Don't worry, love, it's almost over.  
  
(Katou sighs with relief)  
  
KATOU'S BAD LUCK DAY Chapter 4: Katou wins back Kira and Team Rocket wins a rat  
  
I went to the theater and looked at all of the posters to figure out what movie he would most likely see. I was scratching my head when I found it! '2 Fast, 2 Furious'. He'd been waiting for that movie to come out!  
  
I bought my ticket and went in the theater. During my third round up the aisle I found them! I latched on to Kira like my life depended on it. "Don't leave me again!" I whined. "What the?" Kira managed before I was dragging him up the aisle. I turned around and stuck my tongue at Setsuna. "Mine!" I shouted and ran out with Kira, laughing like a lunatic.  
  
I dragged Kira down the street to his house when I saw Ash go running down the road, arms flailing and a BIG notch on his head. "AGGGHHHH." He screamed. Next Team Rocket went running down the road, in place of the mallets were Power Saws. "I thought I should give them a hand." Katora said to me. "Yeah, whatever." I said and continued to drag the flailing Kira to his house.  
  
When I got there Ash was sitting on his porch crying. I kicked him out of the way. And dragged my semi-unconscious booty. I sat Kira in a chair at the table and opened his freezer. "NYA HA HA!" I said and took out all the ice cream.  
  
I put it all on the table in front of him. "Rocky Road, your favorite!" And he perked up. "You bought me all this?" He asked. I nodded with a big grin. "Are we BFFs again?" "Uh Huh!" He said with his mouth full of ice cream. I danced around and sang.  
  
"I won! I won! Go me! It's my birthday! It's my birthday! Uh huh! Uh huh!" I looked out the window and saw Team Rocket doing a similar little song and dance.  
  
"Go us! Go us! We rock! We have the Pikachu! We have the Pikachu! Uh huh! We rock!!" They sang, holding up a fainted Pikachu.  
  
A/N: Well, there you have it. It's done.  
  
Katou: (Cheering) YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!  
  
Katora: I'm so glad you're happy again, love.  
  
Katou: Uh.that's a real pretty dress you have on. (He re-thinks what he just said) Uh oh.  
  
(Katora smiles wickedly) 


End file.
